School PSY/405 2018.08.06 Choice

Professor: Do you believe an individual has a choice in constructing their personality? Why or why not? Response: I believe we are mostly responsible for our personality and how our overall behavior develops. There will always be our genetic past of where we come from and what we are born into that will form a path that we should follow, but if we actively seek to control and better ourselves it can change our overall personality. There are always those outside sources such as when a person is sexually abused or when they have been through severe trauma that can change the way our brain produces certain chemicals or the way our brain takes in certain chemicals. It's just like nature vs. nurture. A person can be raised one way their whole life (nurture), but if they are born with some issue mentally (nature), that is something that cannot be changed. Professor Response: Good point Rebecca! What can happen to someone's personality when they go through a traumatic experience? Another example is when children are abused (physically, emotionally, sexually, verbally etc.). Some theorists may argue that their actual personalities later in life are shaped by their abuse or trauma. Other theorists might say that a person's true personality is suppressed because of their abuse. My mom grew up with a very controlling father who expected each of his 4 children to be exactly like him. He verbally abused my mom often because she was the exact opposite personality than him and he didn't understand her. He didn't understand why she appeared so flighty because she was always inside her own head thinking of lots of new, imaginative ideas. He didn't understand why she felt the need to talk so much or why she was so social or why she didn't do well in conventional school. My mom went on to marry my Dad who is not like her father at all. My mom feels that it wasn't until she married my non-judgmental, very accepting father that her "true" personality came out. She would argue though that it was always there, just suppressed. What do you guys think about that? Response: I believe it varies from person to person on whether or not a traumatic experience will manifest right away, leaks out slowly, or shapes us differently immediately. Your mother sounds like she was showing her own personality, but most of it was suppressed. She probably would have turned out extremely different if she didn't have the controlling nature of her father constantly hanging over her. Even for people that don't get along with their parents, the urge to please them is constantly at the back of their mind. My own personally has changed vastly from when I was a child. I grew up with 7 siblings in a home that was strictly religious and whenever we would lie or misbehave my mom would take a long oak stick and spank us until our rear ends were numb. When she would tell us to go get the stick, horror and adrenaline would flood through us (or at least me). In addition to the physical abuse, my eldest brother sexually abused my two older sisters and myself for many years, mostly in our sleep. I actually didn't know about my portion of the abuse until 20 years old when a detective I was reporting to about another more severe abuse came to get my statement. He read the previous report and wanted to make sure my new report about the other abuse wasn't the same situation. After coming across psychology at a young age, I started to understand myself better and why I acted the way I did. I had had several previous emotional issues in school and were clearly not normal. Looking back on everything now I can clearly understand my life since I actively decided to change the way I express emotions.